By Chris York
Politics is a tough ol’ game. Long hours, a never-ending workload and the constant scrutiny of the public and media.
Throw Brexit, the greatest political upheaval in generations, into the mix and it’s perhaps no surprise that some of those who have the biggest vested in the process are beginning to show signs of… well, we’re not quite sure what.
Take the Foreign Secretary for example – constant negotiations with his counterparts across the globe have left him so in need of a nap he’s started measuring time in bear sleeps.
Berne is named after bears and here is Ursula one of the 3 who live in the city centre. By the time she wakes up from hibernation in the Spring, Brexit will of course be long settled pic.twitter.com/8VSHuPtACu
— Jeremy Hunt (@Jeremy_Hunt) October 25, 2018
And who could forget Andrew Bridgen’s attempt to look natural at work by creating a staged photo so unnatural and tense you can almost taste the nervous sweat on the back of his neck.
Working hard for NW Leics in Westminster pic.twitter.com/Gv3zajR8lj
— Andrew Bridgen (@ABridgen) July 31, 2018
There are of course, a number of issues that need to be raised here.
Is the computer even on?
What has happened to your tie?
Are you being held hostage?
How do you do your filing with a framed poster in the way?
— Bone Orchard (@Design_Orchard) July 31, 2018
Bridgen recently had to deny he was the backbencher who said Theresa May would soon get a knife “stuck in her front”.
An unnamed Tory MP told The Sunday Times: “The moment is coming when the knife gets heated, stuck in her front and twisted. She’ll be dead soon.”
Bridgen, an ardent Brexiteer, told BBC Radio 4′s Today programme: “It’s not me, I have no idea who it was I don’t normally hide behind anonymous quotes.”
No list of dotty Tories would be complete without BoJo, so here’s a tweet encapsulating just how wrong someone can be about a work colleague.
It’s vital that all MPs are able to air their views on Brexit. Whatever your position, I hope we can all agree that @Jacob_Rees_Mogg is a principled and dedicated MP who wants the best for our country.
— Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) July 2, 2018
Oh, apologies – not that one, this one.
— Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) October 9, 2017
Get your Spitfire at the ready, Andrea Jenkyns is ready for battle.
It is better to go down fighting and honouring the democratic decision of our British people. Then to be long remembered for waving a white flag and surrendering to EU demands. All Brexiteers in Gov and on the backbenches its time to #StandUp4Brexit and finally #ChuckChequers.
— Andrea Jenkyns MP #StandUp4Brexit (@andreajenkyns) October 14, 2018
As Chris Addison helpfully translated:
“I would rather cause economic misery to my constituents and the rest of the country I profess to care for for at least a generation than admit a horrific error and salvage the situation. And I will talk about it in military terms to try to make it sound less like it’s my fault.” https://t.co/DAAXRUIp7I
— Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) October 14, 2018
It should be noted that the only thing Jenkyns has been fighting with so far has been her own boss – this week she came out and said Theresa May could be replaced within two weeks, presumably much to the chagrin of the PM.
Jeremy Hunt Part II
Hunt again. Not even going to attempt to explain what is going on here. They might be still there for all we know, eaten alive by tired bears.
Challenged a few of my fellow foreign ministers to navigate the Chevening maze in the rain…by comparison to which Brexit discussions seem more straightforward pic.twitter.com/J43lTDKUvb
— Jeremy Hunt (@Jeremy_Hunt) October 14, 2018
There are a few things that need to be addressed in Peter Bone’s 2016 Brexit Christmas Card:
- 2017 isn’t “post-Brexit”
- is that his dog?
- if it is, is it actually called Brexit?
- why is he fiddling Brexit out of presents to increase the size of his tie collection?
— Peter Bone MP (@PeterBoneUK) December 14, 2016
Fast-forward to 2018 and Bone appears to have run out of festive Brexit cheer.
These are the faces of the people who won the fucking referendum. Why are we doing this .jpg. pic.twitter.com/Sebrtpye8p
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 11, 2018
Johnny Mercer was in Devon in February “rallying the troops”.
Also, Johnny Mercer was in Devon in February speaking to an apparently empty room.
Great to be able to rally the troops in @TWDCA1 this evening with the @Conservatives vision post BREXIT Crucial local elections in May; up early on the doors. Come say hello. pic.twitter.com/MHg7MhOOcH
— Johnny Mercer MP (@JohnnyMercerUK) February 2, 2018
Mercer also went viral earlier this month when he tweeted this for absolutely no discernible reason whatsoever.
I’ll give you one chance at honesty. Did you insinuate my wife was a prostitute on the Plymouth Herald comments section?
— Johnny Mercer MP (@JohnnyMercerUK) October 16, 2018
Anyway, the country is clearly in good hands, good luck everyone!