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40 Hilarious Tweets About The Self-Checkout At Supermarkets

By Caroline Bologna

Self-checkout has changed the supermarket shopping game. For some, it’s a helpful convenience that reduces the need to interact with people and allows for petty theft (joking!). For others, it’s a confusing bother that takes jobs away from actual humans.

However you feel about it, you’re likely to find folks on Twitter who agree with you. We’ve rounded up 40 funny tweets about the self-checkout experience.

Using self-checkout lane so I don’t have to interact with anyone.

Scans first item.

Register: … “Please wait for assistance.”

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) January 25, 2018

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a self-checkout, screaming that there’s no unexpected item in the bagging area.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 20, 2020

I always keep my cool when using self-checkout machines because I want them to vouch for me as an ally during the robot uprising

— Ashes to ashes (an spooky female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) June 20, 2017

me:

target self checkout cameras: you are ugly. you are nothing. you are the scum at the earth. look at you LMAOOOO. EYE SPY A BUM.

— queen quen (@quenblackwell) July 13, 2019

you can tell how much someone hates people by how skilled they are at the self-checkout

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) February 8, 2013

at target self checkout & a rambunctious child stuck his butt on my bagging area & the register was like “unexpected item in bag” !!!!

— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) March 22, 2017

All I want to do before I die is make it through the self-checkout one time without needing an employee to turn a key.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 3, 2016

sure. we had self checkout back in my day. it was called shoplifting

— kim. (@KimmyMonte) December 15, 2017

Day 1087 without sex: Purposely messed up my self-checkout at the grocery store just to hear a voice telling me what to do

— Vision Booooooored? (@VisionBored1) January 8, 2020

Grocery store self-checkout may put people out of work, but at least it’s also awful & annoying for customers.

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) May 9, 2019

they gotta turn down the volume on those self checkout machines in the grocery store. they be just screaming at me and making me nervous. give me fucking two seconds to put it in the bagging area please god damnit

— spooky blm donny (@_donnydrama) December 31, 2017

The cutest chick rang me up at the self-checkout today!

— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) January 2, 2015

But if I use the self checkout who will see all of the pretentious food I bought?

— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) February 7, 2017

This Target cashier seems frustrated that I need help with the self checkout like I am an actual employee.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 18, 2020

The target self checkout camera makes you look ugly as fuck so you lose self esteem and don’t steal

— cayne (@c0mic_sans) October 24, 2018

I decided to use the self-checkout and a lady asked me to scan her stuff, so I did. Then another lady asked me, anyway long story short I’m still checking people out and apparently I work here now. I hope I get a break soon because I’m hungry.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 8, 2019

self checkout?! gotta check items out myself?!! self checkout what’s next??! what’s next do i get a job?!! do i get a job and support myself

— tara shoe (@tarashoe) January 29, 2015

[Self-checkout]

“Unexpected item in the bagging area”

Me: NO THERE IS N-

*notices that toddler has climbed up and is trying to bag herself*

OH, MY BAD

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) January 19, 2018

My daughter just learned how to scan items at the grocery store self-checkout, so a trip for bread & milk is now 45 minutes and 137 scan attempts long.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 21, 2018

Scanning the PS5 as a bell pepper at self-checkout>>>

— T O R ï (@returnofthetori) September 16, 2020

I am not brave enough to scam at self checkout. I don’t have it in me. pic.twitter.com/vSSWlUuzkV

— bri (@bigshitxtalker) September 3, 2017

A little boy changed his mom’s grocery self-checkout’s language to Spanish. She did not find it amusing. I did. #iheartboys

— Emily Volman (@emilyvolman) February 3, 2011

Sorry I sang “The Heat Is On” while you were using the self-checkout at Target.

— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) May 15, 2018

Not bragging but I go thru the self checkout like it’s an Olympic competition

— Envy (@envydatropic) September 7, 2015

At least the self-checkout doesn’t ask me what I’m making for dinner with these items or when I’m going to call my mother.

— Just J (@junejuly12) October 13, 2019

Is it possible for the self-checkout machine to judge you?

— caprice crane (@capricecrane) September 17, 2012

If you want to know how much of a maverick I am, when the CVS self checkout says, “Please remember to take your receipt,” I just turn and walk away. I just leave the receipt in the machine like it’s nothing.

— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) June 29, 2018

*uses self-checkout to save time*
*waits 30 minutes for assistance after register freezes*

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 15, 2015

[meeting god] sorry. you didn’t scan every item at the self checkout. looks like it’s downstairs for you, little lady

me: but free labor is theft. i paid myself for working as a cashier on behalf of a bloodsucking corporation

god: lmao, you got me. welcome to heaven, sis

— beth, uprising enthusiast (@bourgeoisalien) November 25, 2019

I’m always cool and confident until I’m paying for fruit at the self checkout.

— Possum Kingdom ? (@aissalanis) September 24, 2018

That camera at self checkout really humbles you

— Toks (@_Toks96) February 20, 2020

self-checkout lanes: because you hate people yet love doing someone else’s job for nothing

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) September 22, 2012

With face recognition technology, grocery stores could save so much time by signaling the manager while I’m still in the self checkout line.

— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 8, 2016

I wish I could be like the self checkout machine and work when I feel like working.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 24, 2018

Self checkout should just be called “payment optional”

— Swishergirl (@Swishergirl24) September 2, 2013

When you’re in self checkout and your son is screaming “it didn’t scan” pic.twitter.com/7GlxdqeoUr

— Lake effect tech Ep 3 this Wednesday (@I_Exude_Sarcasm) October 4, 2018

having a panic attack because I’m 28 and I still use the self checkout to buy tampons because I’m too embarrassed

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) December 28, 2013

Every time I almost think humanity will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 20 minutes.

— caprice crane (@capricecrane) December 16, 2011

self-checkout voice: remove item from bagging area
me: ok
scv: stand up straight
me: …ok
scv: the fuck are you wearing?

— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) September 13, 2016

If you can’t find the barcode on a product, maybe the self-checkout isn’t for you. Don’t be a hero.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 23, 2016

Also on HuffPost

Via:: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/40-hilarious-tweets-about-the-self-checkout-at-supermarkets_uk_5f8ed5b1c5b67da85d219ff5